Deep Space and Dragons
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Deep Space and Dragons
Episode 89? Karl and Richard Answer Random Questions?
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Picture this: you’re stuck in a winter wonderland with a pile of college applications looming over you like Richard, or maybe you're living the carefree life like Karl. Either way, you're in for a treat. We've got non-traditional Christmas movies on our radar, and we're taking you along for a ride through the snow-dusted horror of films like Terrifier and Krampus. Our personal tales of braving Terrifier 3 are enough to make you squirm, but they also spark an intriguing conversation about the artistry of horror and its impact on viewers. And just for fun, we toss around ideas for stories so unique, even a Bishonen Civil War concept makes the cut.
Ever wondered if Jack from Titanic was a time traveler? You're not alone. In this chapter, we speculate wildly about fan theories and let our imaginations run wild with Dungeons & Dragons character creation. We're talking support roles and unconventional builds that might just change the game forever. And speaking of changes, imagine Hayao Miyazaki directing a sci-fi film about our lives—because why not blend his magical charm with futuristic adventures? From quirky theories to director dreams, we're here to turn conventional ideas on their head.
What if historical figures like Rasputin or Houdini found themselves in a dystopian future? We explore those wild scenarios and even concoct bizarre game hybrids like a Monster Hunter meets Mario Kart mashup. Our creativity knows no bounds as we tackle rewriting endings of beloved series and envisioning obscure characters starring in their own films. From critiquing popular narratives to suggesting alternatives, our discussion is a whirlwind of storytelling passion, all while sharing a laugh and savoring the endless possibilities within the realms of sci-fi and fantasy.
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Happy I don't know Halloween Sure, and welcome to Deep Space and Dragons. I'm Richard, the person who spent way too much energy on college applications this week.
Speaker 2:And I am, carl, the person who spent zero energy on college applications this week.
Speaker 1:Indeed and yeah, welcome to the show. How are you this week in the Carl-verse Catchphrase?
Speaker 2:Carl-verse is a catchphrase now.
Speaker 1:Into the Carl-verse is, in fact, our most popular segment, especially since we don't have the budget or sound cues to really have segments. Well, it was until you stopped nearly killing yourself. It's like, oh, he's going to talk about horror movies. I'm like that's not nearly different enough in narrative tone for our main show. You need to be playing with buzz sauce. Yeah that's true. You got domesticated and your buying drops considerably.
Speaker 2:Oh man, that's too bad. I don't really actually have an interesting thing to talk about this week, because I was going to talk about how obviously now it's heading towards Christmas and so instead of watching horror Halloween movies, you've got to watch Christmas movies.
Speaker 1:You know what would be fun? Probably not right now, but some episode listing our top favorite non-traditional Christmas movies, because Gundam Wing Endless Waltz is a great Christmas movie. Christmas movies Because Gundam Wing Endless Waltz is a great Christmas movie.
Speaker 2:Well, you see, for the Halloween season we watched Terrorfire and Terrorfire 2. Which, the whole Terrorfire series I would describe as gruesome, gory fun. That's not really narratively, it's not exciting storytelling, but in the spirit of Christmas you gotta watch Christmas movies. And so we watched Krampus. That's a good one. That one was definitely way more horrifying than I thought it would be. And then we also watched Terrifier 3, because it takes place at Christmas time, you know, I feel like Christmas, horror is a surprisingly populated genre.
Speaker 1:I'm even thinking like Futurama has taken Robot Santa and I'm like that is absolutely a hot take. And this is going to be an episode entirely of hot takes, with our random questions stack ready to go, but um, yeah, no.
Speaker 2:So I mean the. The basic overarching plot of the terrifier series is that there's scary, uh, some sort of. There's some sort of. There's some sort of demon that is using the clown serial killer as a tether to try and come into the real world. Yeah, and then he leaves behind victims for the demon to possess, okay. He leaves behind victims for the demon to possess, okay. And I mean that's Then the main character of Terrifier 2 and 3 is the daughter of a comic book artist who appears to have been part of some sort of angelic anti-demon force and used his life experience as an anti-demon hunter to write comics.
Speaker 1:That feels like a much better manga than it would deserve to be. Well, like me and my friend today, we're brainstorming ideas for like J novel clubs. Write a light novel and submit it by December contest.
Speaker 1:And some of the ideas we brainstormed. One of them was you know, it'd be really funny an anime retelling like Legend of Arslan, but the American Civil War, but everyone's needlessly pretty and Bishonen, so you'd have pretty Bishonen Abraham Lincoln shooting Confederates. It'd be great and like the logic. It's like they all have these dumb cinemas on their side and rifles and you can do sick choreography if you just use them like right, right, someone does the thing where you club someone with the rifle and then catch it and spin it around your neck so the bullet fires gurn, logging style, like that's how it's done um, but I mean.
Speaker 2:So, like I say that they're not pushing the narrative envelope when you know demons and angels and whatnot. Um, but, uh, I'm, I'm, invested now. But the most important thing to note about terrifier 3 um, even more so than the second one, the Terrifier 3 has gained a reputation of being so gross and disgusting that people throw up, pass out, call ambulances or leave the theater because they just can't handle it. Or a redacted theater I used to work at never fixed that oven and it's a carbon monoxide leak. Well, so, uh, me and my fiance went to see terrifier. We were, uh, two out of four people who were in the theater that night, um, and uh, the other two people, uh, they, they left after a half hour.
Speaker 1:They couldn't, they couldn't hack it hooray, you had a private screening, a romantic moment of a Deeply disturbing, disgusting movie. Good job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it was. Art the Clown has his own Christmas theme song and the gist of it is that he's Just trying to outdo himself with how gruesome His killings can be, all the while trying to torment the daughter of the comic book artist so that her spirit will break and the demon can possess her. Spooky yeah. Anyways, I mean that's I haven't really been doing much interesting stuff lately, and I mean Just been working which involves To be fair for doing interesting stuff.
Speaker 1:this is going to be a hot take. I probably do more interesting stuff. You just live in a more interesting hell infested hellscape Like it's not that you had an interesting day because you chose to get robbed. It's not like you saw someone dragged off the street into an ambulance. It's like the active versus passive protagonist. You're more in a side time situation where nonsense happens around you and you're largely unaffected by it, where I'm more Regan from mob psycho, where most things that happened to me are super dramatic and absolutely my fault.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean once it, once it snows. Hopefully it snows a lot. I'm really hopeful.
Speaker 1:It's like, I mean, it went outside of today to t-shirt and shorts.
Speaker 2:Well, anyway, I'm really hoping in snow today in a t-shirt and shorts. Well, anyway, I'm really hoping the snow is here and that we get lots of snow and then I can build a Quincy, and then I will regale people with tales of the Quincy.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. What Like the bleach Quincy or a different Quincy?
Speaker 2:Well, basically you just pile a bunch of snow, then you dig it out, and apparently they're so warm that when you're in there, uh, you might have to actually make a chimney to allow some of the heat to escape, otherwise you'll overheat you see, the the thing is, I knew that word, what you're talking about, but I also have been going through the new season of bleach and I'm like you're gonna make a giant snow, uriu.
Speaker 1:I don't know why, but i'm'm intrigued.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I mean I'm going to be like Luke Skywalker in the one where he climbs into the snow monster.
Speaker 1:And this is the danger of yes anding each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, yeah, firstly you make a giant statue of someone out of snow the Queen of the King, yeah and then I don't know where the best place to create the hole to climb in would be, but I mean, I guess probably in the gut that's probably the best place.
Speaker 1:You know what's great? People went through like 90 hours of this show.
Speaker 2:Anyways, hypothetical snow forts aside, what's that? What's new in the in the richard?
Speaker 1:sphere. I spent 700 in university applications this week and I am deeply destroyed. Every law school is like 200 bucks, every master program is like 150 bucks and I'm like I'm gonna better myself. Goodbye paycheck. It's like it's gambling too. It's like we only let in so many people like this is such a racket boo. This I'm paying. Nothing like paying a fee to earn the privilege to give them money. It's like a Taylor Swift ticket lottery. So that's been. Oh, I also went to a poetry workshop, which was fun, where one of the poetry exercises they did is they had a random word generator yell out words and you're supposed to like grab the words as you were writing and integrate them.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Admit it, that sounds kind of fun.
Speaker 2:That does sound kind of fun.
Speaker 1:Right. So we went through this writing workshop with this famous poet and I'm like I've been doing more school events, because if I get off work at four at Redacted and the event's at six and a friend meets up for me for dinner, then, boom, I've had a full day. Ah, so, honestly, like besides writing countless essays and portfolios and things for law school and master's programs and setting up like five to six accounts and things, and working full time and writing my new book and somehow sneaking in beating the entirety of re-metaphor, re-fantasmo-metaphor or something or other from Atlas, I've had a pretty full time lately. Like I'm good, I've been busy. I don't know if I've ever been more busy.
Speaker 1:I also got a Fiverr request, Someone wanting to write those. You know those tacky Instagram revenge stories where it's like someone did something and they like stole their car. Someone wrote me an offer to commission me to write those. I'm like I normally don't turn down writing work, but those are really lame and I'm busy well, I mean, if you're writing it, you can make it not so lame no, you really can't.
Speaker 1:so my girlfriend broke up with me. But the revenge is that my 1982 chevrolet that she keyed is now worth more money. Like those are always just so petty, Like the moral of those. If you're literally writing justified revenge stories, that means that neither person's being the bigger person, and I hate those. Yeah, okay, okay, I guess that's fair. It's like she stole my car but didn't realize that the engine needed to be changed. It got stuck in the woods. Ha ha, That'll learn her. I'm like you both suck. Sure, the story makes you sound like a bad person, but cackling at your vengeance also makes you a bad person. As a professional villain, I can safely say the difference between a villain and a supervillain is theatrics, and no theatrics are at play in any of those stories. In is theatrics and no theatrics are at play in any of those stories.
Speaker 2:You just made me think of something that is actually interesting and new, kind of I have a work friend. I know friends are hard to come by nowadays.
Speaker 1:Have they tried to smoke an orange peel?
Speaker 2:No, no, no, they're not that kind of person. They're much more. No, no, they're not that kind of person. They're much more stable than that. They're just the kind of person who plays Warhammer 40K and has a couple thousand dollars with the minifigs.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is suspicious, this is super suspicious. A co-worker of yours plays Warhammer 40K. Before I could even make the joke about how expensive that hobby is, you're like, oh, look at all the figures and I'm like, how Like are they a method actor learning to play a pizzeria character when they play Spider-Man in the next movie? Like, how do you? Warhammer and food service? I did the food service tour. I could talk this shade food service.
Speaker 2:I did the food service tour. I could talk to this shade I I don't know. I don't know how old his collection is. I do know that his his roommate I think is on permanent disability and he says that he probably has like a million dollars worth of like magic cards and warhammer.
Speaker 1:It's called One Warhammer Army.
Speaker 2:In any event, he's part of a play-by-post Vampire, the Masquerade.
Speaker 1:I do love that game. I do dislike playing play-by-post. So play-by-post is great in theory. So some people have trains of thought right. People who don't have diagnosed adhd.
Speaker 1:I have a roomba of thought it just kind of goes across the floor at random and if you don't mess with it it functions fine, but then it usually just hits a wall and bounces right. So with, so with my attention span, even if I really care about something and we've tried doing play-by-post things, even with just the two of us before I will get not even lose interest. I will lose focus and object permanence on a play-by-post campaign.
Speaker 2:Fair enough.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure the main reason I DM is playing. 500 characters is enough to keep me occupied.
Speaker 2:Anyways, my character. I've kind of been procrastinating on actually making a character sheet. I think I have it's fine, you know who you play.
Speaker 1:You play Strauss in his Hawaiian shirt.
Speaker 2:I am playing Philip Marlowe, the legendary detective, but the story is that he was investigating a murder Turned out to the perpetrator was a vampire and then, for the greater good of society, he murdered the vampire. Pause for a second. I'm going to use up one of our limited swears, from the swear jar society.
Speaker 1:he murdered the vampire.
Speaker 2:Pause for a second.
Speaker 1:I have to use up one of our limited swears from the swear jar Shit. That's good.
Speaker 2:So, then, because he obviously has quite a bit of talent as an investigator, and if the feat of a normal human defeating a vampire is impressive, he got turned so that no other vampire clan might be able to use his skills against them so when we were doing our noir episode a while back.
Speaker 1:You know, I've never seen like a straight up noir vampire story and I'm like that feels so obvious though the noir vampire detective right um.
Speaker 2:So so far all that he's done is he? Is he um? Detective Right. So so far, all that he's done is he. I walked up to the mansion where we're having this initial meeting that I'm not really sure exactly what's going on yet I know that a whole bunch of people have been invited to this mansion, turned hideout and there's a werewolf there for some reason Part of our party.
Speaker 1:I mean to be fair. If you build a team of vampires, some asshole's going to want to be a werewolf there, for some reason Part of our party. I mean to be fair. If you build a team of vampires, some asshole's going to want to be a werewolf, and it'd probably be me, I don't know. When I play characters, I usually play because I'm so used to DMing. I basically build an NPC so I can facilitate other people's playing in the game, like I've literally built warlocks without Eldritch Blast and only have help. So I can encourage other people to do more stuff right right yeah, you heard the internet.
Speaker 1:I built a 5e warlock that had guidance as a cantrip and control flame but didn't have firebolt or Eldritch Blast because attacking is for jumps. So I reversed min max. I specifically picked a kobold so I could have a strength stat of six to start that's funny, um, but yeah, I haven't actually finished my character sheet yet.
Speaker 2:I just I introduced my character and, um, I don't know if I'm gonna, like the dm didn't ask, ask me for any sort of roles when I was walking up to the mansion and being like I'm checking the windows and looking for footprints and making note of all the names on the tombstones.
Speaker 1:So to follow that up, one of our random questions, because this is a random question episode kind of segues in nicely. What is a conspiracy theory in a fictional universe you secretly believe could be true in our universe? So you need to find a fictional conspiracy that turned out to be a conspiracy in that fiction that you think is a surprisingly legit theory a fictional conspiracy theory that could be legit, yeah or that's let's do the less complicated version of that.
Speaker 1:What is a conspiracy theory? What is a fan theory in a fictional universe you believe could be true, like I think, that usopp is soga king has some merit despite that being an absurd fan theory. So let's change that question a bit. What's a fan theory in a fictional universe you believe could be true? For a while, I really liked the fan theory in a fictional universe you believe could be true. For a while, I really liked the fan theory that Obito was the second Hokage and not the obvious Obito, because that would have actually been a twist.
Speaker 2:That would have been quite the twist, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, One came up recently that Aizen is Captain Hippie's son.
Speaker 2:Aizen is Captain Hippie's son.
Speaker 1:There's a fan theory. They both have illusion powers. They talk to each other on a first name basis. There's a flashback to Captain Hippie, kind of like Aizen, and that's why he releases Aizen, because he's actually secretly his dad.
Speaker 2:And also he's a harlot, so the statistical odds that he has children out there are pretty good well, see, I, uh, unfortunately I really don't do that much additional research after I watch, or before or after I watch anything, so like I'm not really up to date with many fan theories, like like the only fan theory that immediately comes to mind, or well, not even fan, okay, I guess, no, no, okay now. Now I gotta think back, because game theory here we we go.
Speaker 2:My favorite theory is the one that Leonardo DiCaprio from Titanic is a time traveler.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I don't know what episode. I think we talked about this on our Avatar episode forever ago, but please recap episode forever ago.
Speaker 2:But please recap, because james cameron, uh, the legendary sci-fi director that he is, uh, has exactly one romance to his name, namely, uh, the titanic. Uh, but leonardo dicaprio's character, jack, uh. He makes at least three references to man-made objects that were not made when the Titanic set sail. His backpack is not error-appropriate and he swoops out of nowhere, wins a game of chance to get onto the ship and then disappears without a trace. That, with the fact that James Cameron almost always does sci-fi, and you got a recipe for the idea that he's a time traveler and, honestly, the idea that time travel actually exists. I think that's. I think it's possible.
Speaker 1:So an interesting follow up to that, which is kind of unhinged. They recently released a new season of the Legend of Vox Machina, which is a critical role anime series, and they have two characters on a door floating away. It's a good thing this door fits two people and that just made me laugh, like they knew what they were doing and I'm like, wow, it's like okay, guys, you kickstarted for millions of dollars made to season three to make this bit happen. I cannot believe no one else has ever done this bit. This is amazing. So our question three on our list for Comtex, the last one was question six. Question three If your life had to be directed by a famous sci-fi director, who would you pick and what would the plot twist be?
Speaker 2:Who would I pick your?
Speaker 1:James Caverin opening there. That pivots into this weird question very nicely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, now I'm thinking about sci-fi movies.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to weird one. And you might say I can't get away with this, but I kind of want to go. So sci-fi and fantasy is always a weird line, cause I kind of want. Yato Miyazaki to direct my sci-fi movie life, cause it just be full of like deep themes and cute shit, like if I was in like a Howl's Moving Castle sci-fi situation that would be so cool.
Speaker 1:So it's like I want to take someone who doesn't sci-fi and make them sci-fi to see what happens. But it might not be the best choice to do with my life. What I really need to do is I need to look up who directed Star Trek Lower Decks, because I would fit very well. Like Star Trek is like the best fictional sci-fi setting to be in. Like it has the highest odds of just having a good life. Oh, and the twist would be for if I got Miyazaki to do it, that it was sci-fi is the twist.
Speaker 2:Right, right. Hmm, I gotta look up lists of sci-fi directors and I mean like sci-fi directors and see 20 most of sci-fi directors, and I mean like sci-fi directors and see 20 most beloved sci-fi directors.
Speaker 1:Kelly is a supervising director for the anime series Star Trek Lower Decks yeah, that's who I need directing it. That works for me. Or Mike Mahan is the showrunner yeah, and the plot twist being, if I'm on a Star Trek show with my personality, then I'm not a villain. Oh.
Speaker 2:Oh man, hmm, I do like RoboCop, robocop is great.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you want to be in robocop. However, the idea that that pizza robbery went bad and now you're a robocop robocop taking place in saskatchewan just immediately adds some magic to it yeah, I feel, I feel like that would be.
Speaker 2:That'd be the twist. There'd be like a half hour to 40 minutes of me just being normal stuff and then like cutting away to like some sort of like crazy guy doing crazy stuff, and then he breaks into the store and boom you know what would be wild actually?
Speaker 1:it starts as a clerks movie. It turns into Robocop at the three quarters point. Alright, here's the next one, which this one's pretty fun. Not related in any way, but I kind of enjoy the train of thought here. What sidekick do you think would make the worst main character, despite being a dope sidekick, if they got their own story?
Speaker 2:A dope sidekick that makes a terrible main character.
Speaker 1:Like. My first thought is Genos Because like, if you didn't have like. Genos Because like if you didn't have. Genos just loses every fight, despite being really cool, and if it's like if it was his story, I'm like, oh man, it would just be like watching Worf's the show. Master Roshi, Master Roshi, would be deeply problematic to run a show.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:Like they made him a little better in Super, but not really ugh and like he was an iconic character, but time time has made that this man could not have a show yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:Hmm, man, I'm I'm so blanking on sidekicks Like dang, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Like I'll allow side characters. Like if you want to just be like Sasuke, I'd be like yeah, that's fair actually.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I actually really like the Sasuke side story where the guy was using Ido Tensei to resurrect dinosaurs.
Speaker 1:So I'm mad because Ido Tensei is broken and I mad that sasuke, with the power to make meteors, didn't drop a meteor on the dinosaur and it's also like he went undercover. When he's so stupidly broken, there's no reason he it's like it'd be like if goku went undercover, just like. But you can blow up this entire city. Why are you bothering? You specifically have a power to brainwash people to tell you the truth. It's like I think if that side story starred his daughter, I would have been on board, but Sasuke himself literally has a power to trap someone for 72 hours and slap them with a trout.
Speaker 2:That is true. Sasuke is a walking nuclear bomb.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Sasuke and Boruto forgot that when he was 12, he could do this shit, and they're like they didn't nerf him he just forgets that he's broken.
Speaker 2:Hmm, you know, uh, what sidekick would make a terrible main character Kit from Knight Rider.
Speaker 1:Oh man, If he was the main character, I don't know how you would do that you know I was gonna say robin, and then I remember teen titans existed and had to quickly backtrack off that one because it's like oh no, wait that no no, his show ed young justice not turns out. He actually makes a better main character than batman somehow patrick star from sponge rob squarepants.
Speaker 2:I think he'd be a pretty bad.
Speaker 1:He got his own show. I think they made the Patrick star show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds like it'd be awful.
Speaker 1:I would not find that with the watch. No, no, I would not but that was a good random question. Okay, all right, the next one. I know particular order, okay all right. The next one, in no particular order which magical creature would make the best ceo of a modern tech company and why, uh, so a sneakle bolus for me well, I mean, I was definitely leaning towards dragon.
Speaker 2:Uh, that kind of seems like the.
Speaker 1:I should have said Niv's Mizit. Instead I went with the much eviler one. That's on me Like the correct answer is Niv Mizit, but instead I just put Niko Bolas in charge of Tesla, which might result in it being slightly more ethical.
Speaker 2:I think Niko Bolas is probably a better CEO than Niv Mizit.
Speaker 1:Remember that time Niko Bolas is probably a better CEO than Niv-Mizzet. Remember that time Nicol Bolas wiped out the entire population so their gods would cease to exist. So he could hack them and take control of them and then laminate the entire civilization so they'd be objects and could be warped to another world to murder them. Top tier CEO behavior.
Speaker 2:Well I mean, yeah, people don't really man.
Speaker 1:Magic War was so cool before they started doing their infinite universe crossover bullshit. Ah, anywho.
Speaker 1:So I think we just agreed on me, I agreed on nico and you agreed on bolus, like fair enough I guess really I definitely think dragon, for sure, I mean I I want to put a jabberwocky in charge of one of these like buzzword startups, like in charge of crypto, like a literal Jabberwocky in charge of one of these buzzword startups, like in charge of crypto, like a literal Jabberwocky. The nonsense Boogaloo do. The nonsense Boogaloo do is telling you that the blockchain will hold the fungible tokens it tracks.
Speaker 2:It definitely tracks.
Speaker 1:And I'm pretty sure Microsoft is actually just run by Sphinx. Hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, see, I mean, the thing is that you have to choose like something or someone or something that's like psychotic. They have to be sophisticated.
Speaker 1:I mean Mr Mixoplexis would be great, but I don't think that's a magical creature. I think the part of two is like we're defining best because me and you are on best. So we immediately went anti-capitalist and went evilist, definitely, immediately. My first thought was Nicol Bolas, a character famous for evil. Well, I mean, okay, so his signature move is cruel ultimatum.
Speaker 2:Fundamentally, I I think that when a company gets to a certain size and I don't know what the size is, but when a company gets to a certain size, or maybe it's a success they begin to care more about profits than they do about their consumers.
Speaker 1:Although I have this weird take like that. I believe it's a company's job to make profit and the government's supposed to step in, and that's where the real problem is. That's probably true. Asking the literal gold hoarding dragon Smaug to be good on his own and believing in trickle-down economics is just foolish. He's a gold-hoarding dragon named Smaug.
Speaker 2:But see, smaug would make a great CEO because he would focus so heavily on profits.
Speaker 1:Although counterpoint Because of my deep hatred of some of these tech companies. Godzilla in charge, and then the tech companies solved.
Speaker 2:Godzilla's so smart he has two brains. You're not wrong.
Speaker 1:Also, I just think it'd really be funny to just put a majestic unicorn behind the front desk. And they're on a swivel chair.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean Sphinx seems pretty majestically wise.
Speaker 1:But let's be real. If I was the one writing this story, it would just be a regular kobold that worked his way to the top with a sideways tie. It'd be great. His name would be like GlipZip or something. Maybe GlipZip would start selling GlipZip's ointment. And now GlipZip is in charge of Johnson, johnson, johnson. Shall, we move on to the next one Sure. What item or artifact from any fictional world do you think would make it a surprisingly great reality TV show premise?
Speaker 2:An artifact.
Speaker 1:Or item from a fictional world to be used as a reality TV show premise. So I'm going to start with my favorite, one of the sort that puts you into people's backstories stories. The entire reality TV show is we film this person, just injecting themselves into this person's entire life story in an instant.
Speaker 2:Well, see, I was thinking about like the Dragon.
Speaker 1:Balls would be pretty sad actually To literally watch them find seven magic balls and the prize is an actual wish.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I was thinking like the D&D Pocket Castle.
Speaker 1:Ooh, pocket Castle, yeah, actually.
Speaker 2:That'd be a pretty good one. Or the Ring of Invisibility, I mean specifically, I guess I'd be thinking about the One Ring. That'd be an interesting reality TV show.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure that was just called the Apprentice.
Speaker 2:Watching people run away from the Nazgul.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is accurate. I love the idea For one million dollars. Bring this ring to Morador. Can you ring it? Yes, definitely, not the Death Note.
Speaker 2:Okay, the Dragon Balls would definitely be a pretty good one.
Speaker 1:The TARDIS would be pretty good for a reality TV show. So was the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean so was a spaceship just in general, Like an actual reality TV show of people just living their life on a spaceship?
Speaker 1:Probably not the Ark of the Covenant. However, Shendu's Dragon Talisman is a pretty good one.
Speaker 2:Ooh yeah, that's true, Shendu's Dragon Talisman. Let's see. Hmm. The Millennium Puzzle.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Just yes, like an actual reality TV show that just followed the king of games going around with messing with people especially season zero yami today's episode.
Speaker 1:We're playing ice hockey with gunpowder. Like I was gonna go the direction like the dual disc would be great reality tv, but actual king of games, yami oof.
Speaker 2:That is just captivating, that would be a pretty good reality tv show all right, our next one on this arbitrary list.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna jump ahead to arbitrary list. I'm going to jump ahead to number 19.
Speaker 1:I've had this conversation with you before a few times you get to become the author of one classic book, but you have to rewrite it as fantasy or sci-fi. Which book do you pick and what's the twist? Rewrite a classic book as fantasy or sci-fi, what's the book and what's the twist. So I had this conversation earlier today. I kind of want to do a Great Gatsby, just like the super, super American cast of the Great Gatsby, thrown in some Elf Kingdom. I'm also really pro doing the Christian Bible as steampunk ooh, I'm also really pro doing the Christian Bible as steampunk ooh that won't come back to bite me.
Speaker 2:I was thinking Huckleberry Finn, but obviously the black people, who are slaves, are aliens. And so then, our main character uses one of the, uses one of the aliens to try and escape down the river on a raft and has to come to terms with the fact that, and the river is space. Yes, yeah, space, it's space, huckleberry Finn.
Speaker 1:Huckleberry Finn in space is pretty good.
Speaker 2:Where the main character realizes that, even though you look different on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts.
Speaker 1:I kind of want to rewrite Harry Potter without the transphobia, maybe as a sci-fi while I'm at it.
Speaker 2:What would you do to make it sci-fi?
Speaker 1:I don't know yet. Like the exact premise of Harry Potter, but instead of you're a wizard, you're a Jedi. Nah, harry Potter's not worth a rewrite. Like it's, the more classic the book, the better. Like if you did Pride and Prejudice but Muppets that's more a movie situation and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has been done. I also really liked Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century as a cartoon, so I'm completely on board where if Sherlock Holmes, actual Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century as a cartoon, so I'm completely on board with Sherlock Holmes, actual Sherlock Holmes frozen in a block of ice and brought back to solve future crimes.
Speaker 2:I like the idea of James Bond in a fantasy setting. You know, yes, with gadgets.
Speaker 1:He's just a straight-up halfling like James Bond, the halfling, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would be pretty good.
Speaker 1:They already did Romance of the Free Kingdom's Gundam. They just beat me to it.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Dracula in space would also be interesting.
Speaker 1:You know what Dracula in the Civil War?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of interesting. I do enjoy sci-fi retellings. I think I told you one of my acquaintances wrote a sci-fi retelling of the Count of Monte Crystal in space and it was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But also I am the target audience for that property. I also really love, like brothers grim's fairy tale done as sci-fi are always interesting because they get like horrifying xenomorph werewolves and things that that is true so to move to the next question, because it's kind of a nice natural segue.
Speaker 1:Question 20 okay if you could change one minor, often-rooked rule or trope in science fiction or fantasy, what would it be and how would it explore the genre? I'm going to steal yours Saying how long something will take to then have it take longer than the thing we need. The planet will blow up in 10 minutes and then we do a 50-minute hike. Will blow up in 10 minutes and then we do a 50 minute hike. I hate setting a ticking clock in sci-fi and fantasy and then not accurately having the ticking clock matter. I hate it Like. I hate. Like you didn't have to say it will an hour, you just say it will. It takes a while to charge, but because you told us how long, you then made the scene ridiculous. And it happens a lot.
Speaker 1:Every Marvel movie is like in ten minutes to beam and you're like alright, I'll start my timer.
Speaker 2:You're like that wasn't ten minutes he had ten minutes getting dressed alone, okay, so one unwritten or one rule about fantasy or sci-fi, or trope Tro, trope or meme, hmm, what would you change?
Speaker 1:or murder.
Speaker 3:Change or murder, I mean, if this was an anime question, I'd go off.
Speaker 1:But sci-fi and fantasy is a little less go-off Because I've mentioned before I would age up every anime character by four years. So they make logical fits of the genre they're in. Hmm.
Speaker 2:Whoa. See it.
Speaker 1:You know I really enjoy that. We have our subtle background music for you to just be like super contemplative. Would you like to skip and come back to this one?
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe I'm trying to just like contemplative, would you like to skip and come back to this one? Yeah, maybe I'm trying to just like.
Speaker 1:Or did you take a moment to rapidly go up TV trope sci-fi as fast as you could to find a trope?
Speaker 2:to hate. Maybe I should TV tropes.
Speaker 1:Shout out to TV tropes. Not a sponsor, just a fan.
Speaker 2:I do like science fiction tropes on TV. Okay, let's see.
Speaker 1:You know what trope I love and you can take it over my cold dead fingers Is giant novelty, giant robot weapons that make no sense, like the steam power, jackhammer type weapons. They're so dumb and they make me so happy. My most hated trope in all genres Is born sexy yesterday. That should just never be in anything.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, that's true. That should not be in anything.
Speaker 1:The fact that that's a trope, same with the classic fridging tropes Anything on our Marvel movie bingo card. Really we do not need color coded sky beams, you know that's another trope color-coded beam weapons in sci-fi and fantasy, although like as a viewer it's kind of handy, but like as a writer it's terrible or here's another trope I'm gonna hate on in sci-fi beam weapons that have a hammer you pull back.
Speaker 1:I've seen that more than once, that you cock your beam weapon and I'm like no, just no. Either build a cool sci-fi gun or have a regular gun, you don't need to come by.
Speaker 2:I call nonsense okay, okay, I I think, I think I've got this um, I have another 20 minutes of ranting in me, but please. Well, I am slightly annoyed at how often humanoid aliens appear, because humans are just not the ideal evolutionary path for other life forms.
Speaker 1:It's true.
Speaker 2:It's oxycodles. Oh yeah, I'm not sure what exactly the aliens should look like, but it's like not only are these aliens humanoid, uh, but like to the point where, like saiyan children, that saiyans can mate with humans and their children are more powerful because they're half-blooded so here's an interesting mini-rant.
Speaker 1:So first I was playing through that Reef of Ascend Fantazo something other metaphor, something other game and they had their various fantasy races. They're elf, they're triclops, they're furry.
Speaker 1:And then later in the game spoilers for this game for people we learned that they're basically war mutants of humans and that's why they're all humanoid. So that they're basically war mutants of humans and that's why they're all humanoid. Hmm, so the one trope I'll counterpoint to that one is, if you have like a progenitor race, like I know Robotech made a point of it and Stoat is a target of we spread this ancient human-like race. Humans are just one of the offsprings of this race that went out of their way to do that. Right, like it can be good. And there was a dnd explanation I heard where they came up with this lore reason for someone's original dnd world, that the reason there's half humans is their. You know, like the dwarves are created to craft and the elves were created to be pretentious, humans were created to multiply and, like their racial ability is they can crossbreed with everything.
Speaker 1:That was just like their thing was to go out and multiply was the thing their god made them to do, so they're just specifically have the magical ability of compatibility.
Speaker 2:I guess. Yeah, it's not so much the humanoid races that bother me as much as the insane level of compatibility, like even in, uh, invincible. It's like the viltrumites, uh, like they, they can mate with humans and then their offspring are essentially just viltrumites and it's like how really.
Speaker 1:And then, like you, start going into such weird territory too, of like, not only why can humans do this, or why should they, or how are kids coming out, but where's the line? The line gets real blurry.
Speaker 2:All right, that's for how that would change the sci fi genre. I mean we would see a lot more interesting alien designs. I think that's way more interesting and unique character designs.
Speaker 1:I will say in Star Trek's defense with the budget they had they could afford head ridges and occasionally a corn suit.
Speaker 3:It's like in Star Trek everyone was humanoid, because you could afford that.
Speaker 1:You could afford green body paint and super gluing antennas on someone's head. But yes, I agree that too much humanoid. It's like to go to Kaido, the last evolution, for example, where it's like it only looks human because, its actual form would just blow your brain up. It's like that's a fourth dimensional, dimensional cube. You can't actually he's like. You can't figure out what I look like.
Speaker 2:I'm a fourth dimensional cube, it's like touche, yeah uh, except that then the humans still had children with the fourth dimensional beings, and that was this twist ending the solution.
Speaker 1:It was the only logical conclusion that show could have reached. Clearly, all right number 18 what fictional language would you want to speak fluently? Was the only logical conclusion that show could have reached clearly Alright number 18. What fictional language would you want to speak fluently and how would you use it in real life? What Huh?
Speaker 1:So I'm gonna be a jerk here and take the voice from Dune and I would use it for crime mostly. Intimidation my enemies parking tickets. It'd be real bad to give me that power, which is technically a language. Especially with that language.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking animal speak. I don't really want to speak to a specific kind of animal, I just kind of want to be able to speak to all of them. I guess maybe beast speak you might call it.
Speaker 1:See. I want to be a dick about it and be like, oh, I can do that right now here, meekle, kitty, kitty, kitty. And be like, yeah, you can already talk to animals, but no, no, the understanding's implied here in this context, you can speak it fluently right, right.
Speaker 2:So like you can actually like give more clear commands to animals, or you can just like use it to gather information, or like. I mean, the most fun thing is just to like set up a troop of squirrels and teach them how to like do backflips and stuff.
Speaker 1:But then the squirrels will know that you know too much. Alright, to pivot off that one. If Aliens Visited demanded a three-part documentary explaining Earth's pop culture, what three shows or movies would you include?
Speaker 2:Explaining Earth's current pop culture.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so hot take. I know one show would cover most of it. It's actually animaniacs. They go under their way to recap human history in multiple occasions in that show okay, so that's my first one is I'm going with animaniacs, you can pick a second and we have to agree on the third.
Speaker 2:The social network.
Speaker 1:I hate how you're using that, oh no. All right, so we got Animaniacs and we have to give up the sum total of humanity's knowledge. And so far we have Animaniacs and the social network. All right, we need a third one to try and round this out a bit.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking Doctor who.
Speaker 1:You know what Agreed? This was easy to reach consensus. Yeah, because not only does that cover a lot of our history and values, but also we'll scare the shit out of those aliens if they think any of this is possible. It's like, oh no, the humans were able to stop the Daleks and we're all going to be like, oh no, the Daleks are real. Uh-oh, it's like, yeah, the show was written by the Doctor himself, you idiot. Oh, that makes so much sense. Alright number 15, 15.
Speaker 1:Which historical figure would have the best chance of surviving in a dystopian sci-fi future? Okay uh, dystopian sci-fi future, huh although, to be fair, that could still be a road warrior situation or a cyberpunk situation, who knows?
Speaker 2:hmm, now historical figure thinking, thinking, processing, buffering.
Speaker 1:I'm like you know. I don't want to say Genghis Khan, he's pretty hard to kill, though but I'd like to like set someone like more useful right. I don't want to say Genghis Khan, he's pretty hard to kill though, but I'd like to set someone more useful right. I want to be like I'm feeling Einstein, but I'm not actually feeling Einstein.
Speaker 2:Hmm, Well see, it'd be nice if it was like someone who actually has like battle prowess right, like my brain kind of went.
Speaker 1:Joan of Arc weirdly Rasputin would be stupid, but he is the hardest to kill historical figure it's hard to kill Rasputin it is hard to kill.
Speaker 2:Rasputin. So I'm foolishly sending in Rasputin. It is hard to kill a Rasputin.
Speaker 1:So I'm foolishly sending in Rasputin like an idiot. Please tell me you have someone better you can send in than Rasputin. Uh, hmm. Like I love the part where he succumbed to drowning. Allegedly he could still be around. We don't know.
Speaker 2:Uh, allegedly he could still be around, we don't know. Okay, I think Houdini.
Speaker 1:That's fun. I don't even care how well he does, I'd watch that movie.
Speaker 2:Houdini sent to dystopia.
Speaker 1:Like my brain's, like do I want to go like William the Conqueror or Miyamoto Musashi? Queen Elizabeth the first, honestly, is pretty hard to kill, you know what? I'm gonna go wild here.
Speaker 1:I'm just setting outright Bear Grails yeah, I mean, I don't know if he's the historical figure at this point, but he's famous yeah, but I just made myself sad because I'm like, well, I guess I'll send steve erwin then, and then I made myself sad I hope there aren't any stingrays in this dystopian future. Well, with the way he's going there will not be oh, they'll probably be mecha stingrays in this dystopian future. Well, with the way humanity's going there, will not be.
Speaker 2:Oh, there'll probably be mecha stingrays.
Speaker 1:On that note, question 16. You're a game designer forced to merge two games into one bizarre hybrid. What are the games and how do you combine them?
Speaker 2:Forced to combine two games into a bizarre hybrid.
Speaker 1:Man, most of my combos just turn into SD Gundam Gadgetpon Wars Because I'm like, yeah, fire Emblem and Gundam Braille, that existed.
Speaker 2:And it was peak Mario.
Speaker 1:Kart, Monster Hunter. Please explain me the gameplay loop of this because you have my interest, Because we tend to weirdly actualize things we talk about on this podcast. If someone's listening and you get Monster Hunter Kart, that's your chance to pitch this to someone, because I am deeply intrigued.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, so the battle mode, specifically, would probably be one of the like. Obviously, there will also be a race mode where you're chasing down the monsters to different areas, um, but uh, you know, you have different weapons already within the mario kart franchise, um, and then you could just basically add monsters to the tracks and be trying to avoid being hit by the monsters, uh, getting to the finish line first, while also completing quests, of sub-quests, of trying to destroy a certain number of monsters and collecting enough loot to upgrade your cart.
Speaker 1:I think you invented Kirby Air Ride.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, that's kind of like Kirby Air Ride, I suppose.
Speaker 1:I'm picturing the part where Dynablade comes down and swipes at you and if you kill Dynablade it gives you a bunch of power-ups for the mystery events.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm kind of cutting out the mystery events and adding more of the whole, like Monster Hunter upgrade trees.
Speaker 1:See, I'm loving the like, especially the more Monster Hunter it is where, like, the carts are made out of monster pieces. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like I'm getting behind on this idea.
Speaker 1:It is a peak idea, I think it would be a pretty bizarre hybrid no-transcript Tales of Fantasia or something Like I want to take like a hard, well-written, like let's go. I want to combine Final Fantasy VII and Yu-Gi-Oh, where the combat system is Yu-Gi-Oh but the storytelling is Final Fantasy VII. Like I want a game that I'm playing card games with a really good plot and the card game is just like the battle system. Like, instead of clicking my menus, I'm just straight up playing a full game of Magic the Gathering against this boss battle. That would go very well for my. Actually, no scratch that. I know what I actually want. I want Mario Maker plus Armored Core.
Speaker 2:So you make Armored Core levels?
Speaker 1:Yes, so you make armored core levels yes, so you make awesome gauntlet arena challenges for people to pilot their giant robots through. That is correct hmm, so it'd be like building poro stages for your mech suit.
Speaker 2:I really did enjoy the front mission games for the super nintendo right. They were pretty like side scrolling mecha games, where you're like really did enjoy the front mission games for the Super Nintendo Right. They were pretty like side-scrolling mecha games where you're like platformers, where you're going through like gauntlets of enemies.
Speaker 1:Like realistically.
Speaker 1:I actually just want Mega man Zero and Mario Maker called Mega man Zero Maker. But Mega man Maker kind of exists, it just wasn't an official game. But I feel like I could be more creative than this. I also kind of want a Gundam Breaker Battle Royale, but Battle Royales get boring to me quickly, so TLDR, I think I because I like creating, like I like the stage makers type stuff more than I like the games, so it's like alright, I want to take one of my favorite games with a six-story mode and then build a fun easy maker for it. Like you know, actually I kind of want a Final Fantasy maker, like not like an RPG studio, but like a Final Fantasy maker.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think I have a more interesting and unique combination.
Speaker 1:Your combo was good, though you already won this round, I mean.
Speaker 2:Crypt of the Necrodancer plus Gundam Breaker. Oh what yeah? A rhythm-based Gundam Breaker game.
Speaker 1:So I was playing this game called Broforce the other day on Xbox Game Pass.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And it's awesome it is. You have four buttons jump, shoot, punch and grenade okay the main gory play loop is when you get hit by any one shot, you die. But when you die you switch to another character and when you rescue characters, they become your backup lives every character is an homage to a 90s action movie. So they have the brominator from terminator, which is a gatling gun, and his grenade turns into a robot mode.
Speaker 1:They got ripley from predator, which was brupley we got uh mr broderson from the matrix, whose gun is just punching people and has a bullet time grenade. Bro, cop, who's time cop? So, bronan the barbarian. So that was this game was like it made you, these bros, and you were running gun and the entire environment was destructible. But it was like okay kind of crummy, you know, like indie game crummy right I would love.
Speaker 1:so my crossover game is I would take that gameplay idea of your lives or your characters. You have all these fun characters homages, you're blowing up the environment and I would apply it probably to Dragon Ball Z. So a 2D Dragon Ball Z platformer, action platformer with fully destructible environments and a massive roster of characters where you just run, pew, pew and punch and command maya things and like a high speed running gun situation Like basically Contra X, dragon Ball Z. Shall we move on to the next one then?
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:I think we have time for two more based on my arbitrary plots, because we did not get through this full list, because there's just some serious winners here. So to follow up the which sidekick would make a bad solo movie or TV. Get through this full list because there's just some serious winners here. So, to follow up the which sidekick would make a bad solo movie or TV? Which obscure superhero villain deserves a solo movie or TV and who would you cast for it? Ooh.
Speaker 2:Obscure huh.
Speaker 1:So I do legitimately think that One Punch man live action if we got the right person for saitama would actually be really good. I like we need like someone effortlessly funny to be saitama, and I like like not ryan reynolds funny, we need someone who's deadpan funny, like a young Jon Stewart Because old Jon.
Speaker 2:Stewart wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I think Saitama would be a very interesting actual movie, because it's such a good parody already, but it'd probably be worse in live action a good parody already, but it'd probably be worse in live action. But if we want to go actual, dc, marvel, whoever superhero villain that deserves a solo movie. I'm gonna be real and I'm gonna be rough here. John Oliver is Calendar man. Just the movie, straight up Calendar man, the idea of him doing his crimes on holidays, hoping Batman will eventually care. Hmm.
Speaker 2:Hoping that Batman will eventually care.
Speaker 1:Man, I was about to say Channing Tatum Gambit, like that wasn't a huge thing, that still somehow didn't happen.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:You know I'm going to go.
Speaker 2:weird, I'm going to go weird.
Speaker 1:Follow me on this journey for a moment. Keanu Reeves is Mr Sweetengu.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:Why not? So, first off, mr Sweetengu obviously would be a sick solo movie because it was better than the main character in his movie. Like Mr Sweetagoo obviously would be a sick solo movie Because it was better than the main character in his movie. Like, mr Sweetagoo is just a weird villain to get a solo movie. I don't know if Keanu Reeves is right. Like I want someone more grounded and angry.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Plus people seeing Keanu Reeves as just an overt villain. I think would be fun for Keanu Reeves let's see okay oh now, I'm just for the record, kirby deserves a solo movie, but he doesn't get to be either of those things and you cast as Kirbyby, as the original voice actor of kirby, and it has to either be the best puppet anyone's ever made or kirby's. Uh, you, you know what is most likely an obscure option here.
Speaker 2:Uh is most likely an obscure option here.
Speaker 1:Doron to Doron. I don't think that's a superhero or supervillain, though, but it is an obscure movie. I'll give you that.
Speaker 2:Hey, he's kind of a superhero.
Speaker 1:Like I'm allowing it. Obviously I'm allowing it. Who do you have playing this character?
Speaker 2:Who do I have playing the main character?
Speaker 1:So the thing is, I think, the main character for that movie you need new talent for. I think the real question is, who do you have voicing as Gastrodon? Because that has to be someone beloved playing the little adorable demon on his shoulder. That needs to be like.
Speaker 2:Like Patrick Stewart, or demon on his shoulder. That needs to be like Like Patrick Stewart, or Ooh.
Speaker 1:That's good. Yes, I was going, michael Caine. Or Ian McKellen Right, I like how we went like gruff, like old mad voice, for the adorable thing as to him going like Taylor. Swift or something.
Speaker 2:Oh, adorable thing is to have going like Taylor Swift or something Rest in peace, duran, duran, duran.
Speaker 1:Indeed, that's pretty obscure. Andy Sandberg as psychic detective Chihiro would be pretty great that's a pretty perfect casting feeling pretty good about that one. But like, obscure heroes and villains are hard to think because like nothing in marvel or dc is actually obscure anymore. The moment rocket raccoon showed up in a film, those two were basically. Genres were tapped out. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:Like you have to go in a different direction for superheroes and villains. Like I'm not just going to be like. You know what I'm going to do I'm going to bring back Heath Ledger from the grave and have him play Kefka in my Final Fantasy VI movie.
Speaker 2:So I mean a movie about Jace the mind sculptor, okay, okay okay. I mean, if you talk to anybody about Magic he's pretty iconic but outside of the nerds he's kind of unheard of.
Speaker 1:It's an interesting concept. Who do you have playing him, though? I'm curious the direction you're going with this. Or is it just going to be Keanu Reeves again? You know, Robert Downey Jr would actually do a great Jace.
Speaker 2:Keanu Reeves is not the right answer for every role, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:No, I feel Robert Downey Jr would do a good Jace, actually unironically, Because Jace is basically just Sherlock Holmes, but wizard.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking a little bit more unhinged. I really like Gene Wilder.
Speaker 1:That's pretty unhinged. Yeah, I can get behind that. And for our final question Now that's a Pokemon question, I'll skip that one. If you could rewrite the ending of any fantasy or sci-fi series or movie, which would you pick and how would you change it?
Speaker 2:well, the obvious answer is Kaido, the right answer, but the change?
Speaker 1:what would you do is so? Here's how I'd end Kaido. I'll help you out with this one. Here's how I'd end. Kaido it would be a rocks falls, everyone die line. They would lose the negotiation, earth would be devoured into the cube and he would say, well played, and flick over a chess piece. That's how I would have ended it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I would have.
Speaker 1:Evangelion mentioned. It would be very satisfying, and yet not at the same time or like I like the idea that he like wipes out the earth and like the guy negotiated to have like our golden disc go out into space. So at least humankind left a record hmm, um, but oh, ed Dikaito, you made a task for yourself. But you're right, I'm going low hanging fruit, so I'm going Rise of Skywalker, right? Okay and here's how I'm fixing it. You ready, so I'm throwing it out.
Speaker 1:Going back to the last Jedi, the things they said in the last Jedi, like Rey going evil, kylo Ren going good, them inverting the roles, the Empire and the Rebels basically being wiped out, new children learning the Force. I would have just wrote the movie they thought they were setting up. And no one is living through that thing. No iconic character is surviving. It is the opposite of A New Hope. If you have your named character, you are not living through Richard's version of the Rise of Skywalker, which instead is the Fall of Skywalker.
Speaker 1:But I'm also going to give an even easier answer for a sci-fi fantasy series. Check it. Here's how I rewrite it. At the end of Naruto, right, you following me? Naruto and Sasuke get married and don't have children. Nailed it Done, fixed man. Kaido's a hard one to fix.
Speaker 2:Since the ending was so bad.
Speaker 1:But also so hard to end.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause like my thoughts are like to end, yeah Ugh, because, like my thoughts are like going for like the nihilistic ending or, to quote Star Trek Lower Decks, if both sides leave it away from a negotiation unhappy, it means it was successful. So it's like, yeah, like it. Ending with like a negotiation where mankind lives and he loses under some sort of rational argument is just hard to do. But is what it'd have to be?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah I agree like he'd have to do one of those the negotiation breaks down to effectively be you need us to be conscious, to work as your battery. So the negotiation is if you go through putting us in the cube, all of our brains will now shut off and you get nothing. Like you basically have to be like I'll kill us all. You kept us alive for a reason. The bombs have been primed. Either leave or die. He's like I gave you free power and everything. It's like not worth it. Brah, we no deal.
Speaker 2:Okay, now I'm getting thinking about movies that have had mediocre endings.
Speaker 1:Yep, probably not the funnest topic to end on, but a good one. See, like there's so many anime and manga where I'm like oh yeah, give me a pen in 30 minutes and I'll fix that, but like Bleach is weirdly fixing itself right now, so I'm just gonna let him cook.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, because he's basically writing everything he wanted to write when he had cancer yeah, and then is also working on the sequel that happens afterward to like dive into the whole health thing he set up and never paid off. Like I'm gonna let you cook. You actually have a chance to get, not boruto yourself, naruto also. Like I've went in probably three hours over this podcast explaining how the ninja, great ninja war would be fixed by having four or less boss battles in the boss rush. At the end the last jedi is harder to like.
Speaker 1:Rise of scarwalker is harder to fix, but it really is. Last jedi was so polarizing that the solution was to write a movie that followed that, instead of trying to course correct back into the blandest possible route. Like you, wanted the last movie of that trilogy to either be objectively good or objectively bad, but they made it objectively bland, which made it objectively bad, and I'll never not get over that dagger that's standing on a hill lines up to the Death Star to find the location. It's the single worst written thing that's ever happened. Death Star to find the location.
Speaker 2:It's the single worst written thing that's ever happened Lines up with the broken Death Star that has not broken down any further since that knife was forged.
Speaker 1:So bad that's perched in the ocean on a planet. But is in the exact right position. If the dagger was straight up magic, it would have made me less mad. Also, you haven't seen Gundam Witch from Mercury, but they kind of forgot to have a last battle and I'd fix that by having the last battle. Actually happens to have a sparkly rainbow killing everything.
Speaker 2:Okay. So I don't know if you count a movie like Hellraiser as fantasy. No, I count it as sci-fi, but go ahead. Well, yeah, because I mean like the Cenobites and the cube or whatever, and at the end of the movie the main character, she manages to escape by burning down the house, but, um, the end, the actual ending is that, like A, the house burns down like completely, like atomized, within a matter of like ten minutes in the movie that's a good fire. And then B, a random demon just shows up and picks up the cube and flies away. I hate it.
Speaker 1:That's the end of the movie. I hate that so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I know that there's sequels and the sequels might delve more into what exactly was happening there but I should be standalone.
Speaker 1:I firmly believe that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really do. I think, um, I think it would have been just a much more satisfying ending if she's going through the rubble of the house and she finds the cube and then just hucks it into the ocean.
Speaker 1:No one hucks enough things into the ocean. People like to hide things in places they can find them.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, and then it still leaves room for the sequel where someone's doing some undersea diving and they're like, oh sweet treasure, and then get you know, taken in by the centibites into their dimension or whatever like it. It leaves it open still because the cube isn't destroyed fair so yeah and what I was thinking of.
Speaker 1:That would be an easy ending. A lot of times it's just like. Not leaving that room for a sequel, especially for manga and anime, makes the ending so much stronger. So Inuasha had this dramatic ending where, like the jewel comes alive, tries to absorb them and defeat it with the power of love, and then she goes back through the magic well, finishes school, then comes back to the feudal era and chooses to live there. That was a huge mistake.
Speaker 1:So one thing they missed here's what confused me about the ending of Inuasha Is they didn't have a plot device turn all the demons into humans at the end, because Inuasha, between the time period it takes, takes place, which is like 100 years ago, and now there's no demons at all right so I was shocked they didn't use the wishing on the jewel. For the jewel to be no more didn't just turn all the demons into humans, and the cost should have been that she could never go home, right that's what would have made the choice impactful and the cost should have been that she could never go home.
Speaker 1:Right. That's what would have made the choice impactful. And then she's just her own grandmother or some bullshit, but yeah like they wanted to leave it open so they could sequel it, I guess. So they didn't like wipe the status quo clean. Sort of like how the solution to Death Note was to end it after he killed L, instead of bringing it back with a new, less interesting character.
Speaker 2:Like Tokyo Ghoul, where it's like built up all this like immense, like horrifying, like war stuff, and then it's like OK, and we're just going to time skip and start a whole new show.
Speaker 1:Then my hero's pacing Like my hero's problem was that they rushed the ending by also making it super long. It's like we have this 200-long fight scene and didn't bother to give them year two and three of high school in our high school show.
Speaker 2:Well, to be fair, are they even actually in school?
Speaker 1:The final fight took place in the flying school, and then JJK. They just needed 5 less characters to jump Sukunov. That's how they were planning to end this. I think they needed like 20 less characters to jump Sakuna and also they needed, like, if you're gonna use hammer person at the end, to wake up and you set up Chekhov's hammer person. You waited too long for that to have payoff like and they got the last shot, I'm like. But they weren't even in the show for most of it.
Speaker 2:They didn't even make it halfway through the show yeah, you know I've uh, the show jump app was like read all jjk, so I started reading it and firstly, if you skip chapters zero, it definitely does just feel way more like a shonen show.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:But then, secondly, it's like Hammerchick was gone for so long that I didn't even realize she was introduced in chapter three. Yeah, she should have been a long-running character that mainstayed and and, but it's like no, no, they're already going to the, the idol transformation.
Speaker 1:People get their souls transformed and die yeah, like jjk was interesting because it's like they wanted to do the naruto three-man squad and they copied the Sakura part. And I don't know why they did, because they wrote a way cooler character than Sakura to then Sakura them. The voodoo hammer concept was actually one of their more inspired idea concepts for a character. And they introduced pretty early on that they were a natural Sukuna countermeasure, a natural Sukuna's countermeasure.
Speaker 1:It's like they set up this Chekhov's gun, but the battlefield was so chaotic we didn't even care which bullets were being fired. Because Sukuna got killed four times and like, at one point he's literally like well, we crushed his heart and he should be dead. Oh, he did the reverse-inverse-converse by landing a black flash he could heal himself. I'm like that's a rule. Now. I don't like that. Why's that a rule?
Speaker 2:I don't know something about the black flash activating on full cylinders.
Speaker 1:A lot of these anime would take too much effort for me to just fix the ending, to fix it Because it's like. Kaido's such a good example because they drop the ball at the last second so here's like what I would really fix, so char's counter-attack was a really good movie, except it had two dumb things. It had this piece of psycho frame that was like a little t-square.
Speaker 1:That felt like it was super important, even though that's technically what the mobile suit was made of okay so like flies off and does magic, sparkly things to connect the battlefield, I'm like okay, whatever, but in the original cut they failed to stop the asteroid. It just hits the Earth and that's where Gundam comes to an end and they retconned it with the power of friendship. See in the original the power of the friendship. Everyone worked together to try and stop it but still failed.
Speaker 1:But then because they all came together to try and stop it and they failed. Humanity kind of developed, and then they retconned that with a few more people. So like, if you have the courage to blow up the Earth, commit to.
Speaker 2:it is my takeaway, and we're not going to do any random questions, because that was the entire episode. So yeah, you know self-care hydrate.
Speaker 1:Most CEOs are probably probably dragons and technically, five of them have more money than smaug.
Speaker 1:The math was done more money than smaug, oh and let us know in the comments how your objectively correct opinion would change the ending of your favorite sci-fi or fantasy thing that you think had a bad ending. Bye correct opinion would change the ending of your favorite sci-fi or fantasy thing that you think had a bad ending. Bye, bye. I do love the. With my objectively correct opinion, here's how I'd fix this movie. I would go from number three to the second part of the trilogy, right, and then write a movie that follows that one logically in any way, shape or form. I was tempted to say I would fix Star Wars is pre sequel trilogy by replacing it with dune, the best star Wars movie by far Well, but I'd say that went pretty well.
Speaker 2:I think so too yeah.